Tiny Beautiful Things

"You will thrive not in spite of your losses or sorrows, but because of them"

Cheryl Strayed

Tiny Beautiful Things

Life has its ups and downs. It can be wonderful, and it can be hard. Life is complicated and simple at the same time, and it can be so hard to sort through all of the pieces when it is all you can do to keep afloat in a sea of them. It can also be really hard to ask for advice or help, especially from people we know, people we are close to. It can be really scary to ask for advice from strangers.

For years Cheryl Strayed wrote an anonymous advice column for the Rumpus, helping people through their troubles and confusions. Her responses are something entirely different from those found in any advice column I have ever seen. She is kind, she is witty, she is compassionate and her responses to those writing "Dear Sugar" are so incredibly understanding and beautiful. 

This book was wonderful. Sugar's responses to her the questions thrown her way are wonderful, and so different from the responses in any advice column I have ever read. The letters are so intimate, and Sugar proves herself worthy of this trust in her responses, which are so loving, well thought out, and compassionate. 

Reading this book was fantastic. I have experienced things similar to some of the people who have written in, and I have experienced things that are completely different, but Sugars responses to all of the letters were wonderful, as she examines the problems at hand and reduces them down to the critical questions. She does this without judgement, boiling down complicated questions into simple important ones. I highly recommend

this book.

Cleopatra

"It has always been preferable to attribute a woman's success to her beauty rather than to her brains, to reduce her to the sum of her sex life."

Stacy Schiff

Cleopatra

When we think of Egypt we think of the Nile and the Pyramids, King Tut and Cleopatra. Thirteen hundred years separate the lives of the two rulers, and, even though she was often portrayed as nothing more than a seductress, Cleopatra had a far more influential rule and skilled rule, skillfully leading Egypt during the turbulent times from 51 BCE to 30 BCE, vastly expanding her territory and wealth before losing it to Augustus.

The story of Cleopatra is fascinating, yet the general knowledge of her is small, often consisting to her seduction of Julius Caesar and her suicide. In this wonderful biography Stacy Schiff delves into the details of Cleopatra's life, which was so much more than those two events. She ruled Egypt successfully for twenty years during an extremely unstable period in the Mediterranean (Rome became a monarchy after years of civil war, ending the idealized "Republic" that it had been), was one of the richest people in the world, and vastly expanded her empire. These events cannot be boiled down to the simple story line of her seduction of two powerful men.   Schiff examines all of the evidence available to tell Cleopatra's story, while also explaining the corruptions that have invaded it from historians of the past, beginning with the prejudices of Cleopatra's own peers.

This book was wonderful. Well researched (notes take up fifty pages of the book) and well written, Schiff adds dimension and complexity to a strong woman who has often been portrayed as weak. She adds context to Cleopatra's story, examining what else was happening in the world at the time and the cultural differences that existed between Egypt and Rome at the time, fleshing out the nuances that would have influenced Cleopatra's decisions and the circumstances that led to the events that took place. The story is wonderfully complex and the characters dynamic.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has heard of Cleopatra, read Shakespeare's play, or is interested in history. Fascinating, interesting, and wonderful, I could not put this book down.

Infidel

Islam is a sensitive idea in the US. Ever since 9/11 there has been a large, xenophobic reaction to Muslim and Arab people (it is important to note that not all Muslim people are Arab and not all Arabic people are Muslim) in the United States. Two foreign occupations, decolonization,  and large amount of regional instability that has bled into international theaters has led to high tensions.

Infidel is the biography of Ayaan Hersi Ali, a Somali woman who was raised Muslim in Africa during the decolonization process in the 1970's and 80's. In her 20's she fled to the Netherlands as a refugee, earned a masters degree in Political Science, became a citizen, and was elected to parliament. In this book, she delves into her childhood in Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia, and Kenya and shares her experience growing up a Muslim. She is very blunt, sharing the horrors of the excisions that she and her sister were subjected to, the way women were expected to act, and sharing the nuances of the Somali clan system and the nuances of Islam.

Ali explains how she came to the conclusion that she did not believe in Islam after being a staunch believer all of her life and explains why she doesn't think that Islam and the West can reconcile their differences, Her life and the changes she accomplished on behalf of Muslim women while serving on the Dutch Parliament are amazing, and the research she did and the insights she offered then to migration and asylum in  the Netherlands were a wonderfully frank and fresh new look at the issues.

She also talks of the film Submission: Part One that she had made with Theo van Gogh, and his assassination.  The film provoked controversy and threats were made against Ali.

Throughout the whole book Ali backs up her ideals with clear and concise arguments while
eloquently relating the story of her life. She tries to explain all of the nuances of here experience in these different countries,  explaining some of the differences between the  practice of Islam in Somalia and Saudi Arabia, explaining her theories on the resurgence of fundamental Islam in Africa and the Middle East.

It was fascinating to hear the story of a Muslim woman, let alone one who was raised in Africa and has experienced what it is like to be a refugee. So often I feel that Islam is explained with one story in the media and minds of most Americans. This seems so strange to me considering there are 1.57 billion Muslims in the world, many from different continents and cultures, and all of their stories would be vastly different, similar in some ways but divergent in others. I feel like a way to remedy this is exposure to many stories, to realize that and problems we might encounter are nuanced and complicated.

This book was wonderful. Thoughtful, with difficult subject matter, but extremely hopeful. I recommend it highly.

The Art of Asking

"To erase the possibility of empathy is to erase the possibility of understanding.To erase the possibility of empathy is also to erase the possibility of art, theatre, fiction, horror stories, love stories. This is what art does. Good or bad, it imagines the insides, the heart of the other, whether that heart is full of light or trapped in darkness."

The Art of Asking

Amanda Palmer

I had never heard of Amanda Palmer. I had heard of her band, the Dresden Dolls. But I hadn't heard of her. I picked up this book because a friend is reading it. I picked up the book because I hate asking for things in my life. I'm so afraid of what asking for things says about me, or that my asking will give someone leverage over me, control over me. This book was magnificent. I loved it, I felt it. It is beautiful. It feels real.

In the Art of Asking follows Amanda's career from a street performer (she was one of those living statues) to the largest music Kickstarter to date. She goes into depth and detail the events of her life, and emphasizes how important it is to be able to ask for what you need, and how to hear others when they ask. Her stories were touching, and heartfelt. It was so wonderful to read a book that felt so extremely honest about wants and fears. This book was fantastic. 

I thought how interesting it was how loaded the act of asking people is, when it really shouldn't be. I work in a ski rental shop in the winter and I remember one day I couldn't get a binding to release on a boot, and I asked for help from a coworker who was stronger than me. The client preceded to tell me that my asking "wasn't very feminist." I was astounded that me admitting my weakness and asking for help could make me a "bad feminist." Though this is something that so many people feel at one point or another, that they can't ask for something because it might mean that we are not enough, it is one that is never talked about. 

I am so happy that Amanda wrote this book. It is important, and feels like an entirely new way of addressing the issue while asking thoughtful questions (such as what is the difference between asking and begging, and why is empathy sometimes considered a negative trait) and her stories are inspiring.  Everyone should read this book, and if Amanda ever reads this blog, I would like to thank her for writing.

Winter

"The mirror answered: "You, my queen, are fair; it's true.

But the young queen is far more fair than you"

Marissa Meyer

Winter

The fourth installment of the Lunar Chronicles was amazing. In it Winter, Cress, and Scarlet carry out their final plan to return their cyborg friend Cinder to the throne of Luna, and it did not disappoint. Full of action, plots, and YA angsty romance (full of "I thought you were deads" and passionate kisses after declarations of love), this book was extremely entertaining and a wonderful read all the way through.

For those of you who don't know about this series and enjoy YA let me explain what these are about. The Lunar Chronicles are a wonderful steampunk retelling of the fairy tales Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Snow White. These are all mixed together with four strong female leads (though they do lend themselves to stereo type), a evil queen who really needs to see a shrink, a bioengineered plague, and a war between the moon and Earth and you have some wonderful fantasy that is extremely entertaining. If you liked the Hunger Games and Divergent, you should definitely check these out.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

"Exposing a young child to the realities of love and death is far less dangerous than exposing them to the lie of the happy ending." 

Caitlin Doughty 

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Death is not something we often talk about, even though it is something that exists all around us. It is often skipped over, spoken of in awkward metaphors, and it is rare to encounter a body. Even the covers of magazines and beauty products mask its coming: "Look years younger!" "Reverse the aging process." Yet for something that is rarely spoken of, it is something that is always in the back of our minds. There are eight billion people on the planet, and every one of them will die.  In twenty years there will be as many people over the age of eighty-five as there are children under five. Given a long enough time frame the survival rate of everyone drops to zero.

Yet this is something we don't talk about. Caitlin Doughty examines this in her book, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, and comes to the conclusion that this is not a healthy thing. In this book she recounts her experiences working in a crematory and what she learned in mortuary school, and applies that knowledge to how we encounter death in the US. The book is fascinating. Doughty goes into detail describing how bodies decompose (not for the squeamish) and the processes of preparing the dead for their final rest (including many legal options and some illegal ones). So does all of this with a wonderful touch of humor. From witty stories from her time in the industry to well researched examinations of how death was thought upon in the past, the book comes together beautifully, forming a wonderful commentary on how the way we think about our dead offers insights to how we live our lives.

I loved this book. It was charming, funny, insightful, morbid, and wonderfully educational. In a society that glances over death, it was extremely refreshing to be told what actually happens to bodies after the animating force has left them. She offered wonderful examinations of the ceremonies surrounding death in other cultures and throughout history, as well as a scathing critique at the funeral industry in the US. It was brilliant.

Deep Down Dark

"Yonni Barrios places his ear to the stone. "It was like listening to the inside of a seashell,"he will say later. "You hear nothing and you hear everything, you can imagine an ocean rolling inside that shell, and then you take away your ear and realize it's just an illusion." 

Hector Tobar 

Deep Down Dark

Every once in a while there are events that are so big, that resonate with so many people in the far corners of the world that they they spawn stories, frenzies of newspaper articles, international headlines everyday for months, eventually a book deal that will turn into a movie. I saw the trailer to what will eventually be the movie that this is based on, and it made me cry. If a three minute reel could elicit that level of emotion from me, I figured that I should read the book.

Deep Down Dark, by Hector Tobar, is the story of the thirty-three miners that were trapped underground when the San Jose mine in Chile collapsed in 2010. The miners survived underground for sixty-nine days, seventeen of the days unsupported to the outside world. The book mixes together the stories of the miners experiences underground, the rescue crews first searching for signs of survival and then finding a means of rescuing the men, and the family members feelings as they waited at Camp Esperanza for their loved ones to come back to the surface. Brilliantly research, Tobar looks in depth at their experience both before and after their rescue.

This book was brilliant. Well researched and well written, Tobar captures the experience well and tries to explain all facets of what the men trapped underground experienced for those sixty-nine days, and he goes above and beyond following them to where they are now and how they cope with the trauma that they experienced. He examines all of the stories with impartiality (which is amazing considering how much thirty three people, in close quarters for a long period of time under stress, might rub on each other), and presents the story in an extremely dignified way.

The story, itself, is fantastic. Considering that most mine accidents of this magnitude are fatal, the fact that not one person was seriously injured is nothing short of miraculous, which is what many of the miners themselves thought it was... a miracle. This was the longest that anyone had continuously spend underground and the collective effort that was used to keep them alive and to bring them to the surface is amazing. I remembered when this happened and it was hailed as a triumph of the human spirit, an example of what we could do if we put our minds to it. It is a wonderful story.

There is a darker side to it that I couldn't help but notice. The mine was know for being unstable and unsafe, and all of the workers took jobs there because they needed the money, yet no one cared enough to invest the money to stabilize the mine and keep the workers safe. I love this story, I love how it represents how far human ingenuity can go when we work together, but I can't help feel like its to little to late. This accident happened because people were cutting corners for profit, instead of caring about the workers that mine the product. This negligence is terrible. It shows a lack of respect for the miners, as well as a carelessness towards people that is heartbreaking. And its not just something we see in foreign countries. We see it when ladders are set too high, and rickety stairs aren't repaired after complaints have been made. We see it in a callous disregard to the needs of employees here in the US. If just a little more care was taken, harm could be avoided.

This is a wonderful book; a truly magnificent story. Well researched and well written with wonderful attention to detail (his translations from English to Spanish, and vice versa, add so much to the book) I highly recommend it to anyone who liked Unbroken or Lone Survivor. A great read.

Extreme Medicine

"That is the truth of all exploration-in science or the physical world. We do not climb mountains, traipse to polar ice caps, split atoms, or unravel genomes simply because "they are there," but because we know that it is within the unanticipated fruits of exploration that our improved survival lies."

Kevin Fong

Extreme Medicine

The medical world is amazing. For most of human history, the average age of death hovered around 30. Disease and exposure came for everyone, and medical treatment was rudimentary. Every once in a while, though, a break through increased our odds of survival. From vaccines, to life support technology, these new innovations were, and still are, amazing (I am extremely grateful that I have never had to worry about Polio, Tuberculosis, or Small Pox). They came after much hard work, and often going against the grain of the medical community, driven forward by new exploration into new parts of the world, and sometimes, beyond it. 

In Extreme Medicine, Kevin Fong, explores the history of several of medicines great breakthroughs. Drawing on his medical experience and his work with NASA, he explains how exploration has been necessary for these discoveries, from polar exploration to space exploration, deep sea diving flight, each has been extremely important to developing critical practices in life support, trauma, treating burns and pushing the limits on surgery. Through creative storytelling and an expansive knowledge of science, Kevin Fong puts together a magnificent piece of work showing how far we have come, all the while examining why that innovative push may stall out.

"But we're growing more circumspect about physical exploration, particularly that which sees us staring out into space at the final frontier. We've begun to wonder if we should continue to boldly go."

This book was magnificent. The stories of exploration and medical advancement are fascinating and exciting, and when paired with Fong's scientific knowledge, which he relays in simple, concise, and easily understandable ways, leads to an incredible look at how science has advanced in the past hundred years and how it may continue to advance in the future if we are willing to take risks to push the boundaries of what we know. This is a fantastic read, and I highly recommend
it to anyone who likes to explore, or enjoys the use of their heart and lungs.

A Field Guide to Getting Lost

"Mountaineering is always spoken of as though summiting is conquest, but as you get higher, the world gets bigger, and you feel smaller in proportion to it, overwhelmed and liberated by how much space is around you, how much room to wander, how much unknown."

Rebecca Solnit

A Field Guide to Getting Lost

It is often that we speak of things in terms of lost and found: we are lost in our minds, we have found our soulmate, we can or cannot find what we are looking for in life. Not knowing our location is not the only way we can be lost in the woods. In A Field Guide to Getting Lost, Rebecca Solnit explores the concept of "getting lost" in a collection of essays, trying to find answers to the question "How will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you," that was asked by Meno several millennium ago.

Solnit does this in her wonderful way, mixing personal narration with examinations of external sources. She examines the characters in the movie Vertigo and how they relate to each other and how they relate to spacial forces like gravity and height. She looks at how maps evolved and how they way they have represented the "Terra Incognita" has changed over time, and how we use these maps to place ourselves in the world. She examines art, color, and language; she delves into the histories of the disappeared, looking at what Everett Ruess, Amelia Earhart, and Antione de Saint-Exupury had in common. 

There is a certain romance in being lost, in existing in a space that is not being somewhere and not being nowhere. Solnit captures this beautifully. Each chapter is well thought out, the language beautiful, and the composition of the entire book exquisite. I loved this book.

     

Girl in the Woods

"Between every two pine trees there is a door leading to a new way of life."

John Muir

Growing up is difficult. There is a struggle to create who you want to be, to find ways to do the things you love, to exist comfortably in a space and to fill it in the way you choose away from the exceptions imposed on you from youth. This struggle becomes infinitely harder when you are female, when violations against the space you fill are common place. Sexual assault is a rite of passage for young girls, a coming of age ceremony when we are told that any space we occupy is not truly our own, and who we want to be is influenced and impeded by violence. This is not the way it should be, but it is something we rarely can openly talk about. The violence becomes our shame.

It is refreshing to find a voice that openly describes these violent trespasses and the long roads to healing. Aspen Matis does this in Girl in the Woods, speaking candidly on her second night of college when she was raped, and experiences walking the Pacific Crest Trail in search of herself. The "story of how my recklessness became my salvation," and it is marvelous.

Part memoir, part travel adventure, and part nature writing; Aspen Matis's writing is beautiful. She speaks eloquently about the events that happened to her, beautifully of the 2650 mile path she walked, and she then ties it all together with masterful storytelling that captivates and inspires. This is a truly wonderful memoir (think Wild meets Lucky), blunt and open and incredibly inspiring. Matis gracefully tells of the hardships she faced and how she learned that the violence she suffered was never her shame, and how she found the strength to be who she wants to be.

I loved this book. I highly recommend this, to everyone. The writing is beautiful, the adventure is marvelous, and I can't wait to see what Aspen Matis writes in the future. 

You Are A Badass

"In order to kick ass you must first lift up your foot."

Jen Sincero

You Are a Badass

Books from the self help section, are generally not my cup of tea. Not only have I never read one, but I had no desire too. The only experience I had ever had with self help books was the on-again off-again trials from Dr. Phil and Oprah, the plastic smile and perfectly poofed hair of Joel Olsteen. It either felt to hippie dippy for me, denying the realities of the world to justify a more livable fantasy, or too much of evangelism: "sow your seeds so you may reap the harvest."So when I found that a self-help book was a requirement of the Read Harder Challenge I was less than enthused.

I heard Jen Sincero speak at the book store I work at in 2013. It was the first author event that I had worked, and I was unsure of the proceedings (I would later learn that all authors did it differently, and that if I were ever an author giving a presentation I should not read any passages longer than a page from my book). Jen was extremely kind and charismatic. In her talk she told stories of how she learned some of the lessons that she talks about in her book. I had never laughed harder. She was a hoot. And the way she talked was so different from the way I had come to expect self-help books to be. She wasn't condescending or preachy, she wasn't super spiritual or religious. She talked about things in a no-nonsense, get shit done kind of way; it was extremely refreshing.

When I finally picked up her book, You Are a Badass, it read just the same. Funny, quirky, with good advice on how to get your life together. It was a really good, extremely inspiring book. Jen writes just like she talks, her book is full of funny stories and anecdotes, and she breaks it down in to very understandable practical steps showing you, not that you could be a badass but that you are one, and that you should let your freak flag fly.

This book was very funny and charming and I highly recommend it to everyone, whether or not "self-help" is your thing. It is hilarious.